Adults can be so Ignorant

Isn't it strange when as an 18 year old "child" you can't have a normal, intelligent conversation with your parents?
My mother and i are prime examples.
I've always had this idea, that mothers and daughters could trust each other and confide in each other. So the moment i tell her some little rinky-dink situation she blows up. She automatically, as if pulling out the latest rape or homicide case, comes up with strange statistics that have no backing as well as profoundly gross situations that happen in downtown l.a. instead of irvine (btw one of the safest communities in the country...why? b/c irvine is filled with rich snobs who like to drop culture and individualism any day of the week...but that's another story)

Yeah i understand my mother wants to 'protect' and what ever bull shit thats similar. It's funny too, she only cares about it when it involves a potentially immense amount of money...only on the .000002% chance of something actually happening. To be brutally honest, she needs to get over it and let go.

For christs sakes im already 18. So many kids my age go off to war and have to kill left and right, they see death and destruction at its finest, and when they finally return are sent to dingy hospitals if not the mental wards first...yet she's worried about me hanging out with 2 guy friends that i've known since i was 12. I think that by this age and after 6 years of scrutiny i can distinguish both the good and bad qualities of my friends, and in no way shape or form would they even think of doing such an act. In all fairness i can understand where she's coming from, but to be absolutely brutally honest, she needs to let go.

When something bothers you
you face it head on
no regrets.

All Around Me - Flyleaf

My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you own me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed

On the Edge

I am playing a game where i dont know the rules

I am on the edge ready to fall
but
I am taking a step back

Don't push me over
I'm afraid of falling back into the pit of empty hope.

Please dont do it.

Procrastination

So, I am basically pulling an all night-errrr
there is no way in the world (unless i've miraculously leaned to govern the basic laws of the universe that will allow me to command time according to whim) that i will be able to finish my homework.
But I am not exactly wasting my time!
I have been drawing for my English project...it's basically make an illustration of Blood and Chocolate (which by the way, i do NOT recommend for anyone to read...it's like someone i knew wrote it....the vocabulary level is below average and there is no in depth meaning to the story...it's very superficial) but my illustration is coming out fairly nice...i wont be able to scan it tho...b/c its too big :/ oh well i'll give it a try over the weekend or something so far i just need to do the bg which shouldnt be as difficult as the focus hahaha the focus was actually kind of easy..i think it's going to be the bg that's the most difficult to come up with...i only have an idea...but i dont know what medium to use :/ so im in a dilemma...

maybe

How do you know if you like someone more than a friend?
A part of me wishes he would stop.
For him to stop sitting next to me
For him to stop hugging me
For him to stop playing around with me
To everyone it looks like we're flirting.
But I dont think he likes me.
I'm just his friend.
I know it
That's why I'm on my toes.
I'm afraid of falling into that trap, but a part of me wants to be caught

Don't you hate it when people argue with you on your birthday?
It's a perfectly avoidable argument.
Your friend mentions something.
You disagree with a point she's making.
Then she feels "compelled" to explain every detail to you.
-.- girls can be unbelievably inconsiderate.